Learn a Cooking Technique That Can Give You a Mental Break

I went out to get some sun by the pool last week, take a break from my busy week and get lost in my headphones and enjoy total solitude.  

I’ve been listening to so many awesome podcasts lately about coaching, consulting, blogging, hosting a podcast and writing a book and needed a different voice to listen to and a topic that didn’t pertain to work.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

In my search to learn something new about health and fitness, I stumbled upon Arnold Schwarzenegger’s podcast Pump Club. In this podcast, Arnold gives you short workouts anyone can do, shares his favorite delicious recipes (I remember my dad drinking his shakes with raw eggs back in the 80’s) and shares stories about people in his “village.”

I listened to a few episodes as they are around 5-12 minutes long but the one that stuck out to me was episode #19: The 4-1-1 on Training. 

In this episode, Arnold offers 2 techniques that will make your workouts harder and talks about how he cooks via Sous Vide and how it can give you more time to spend with friends and family. 

I’ve never thought about the mental health benefits of cooking with a Sous Vide and was inspired to write about it. 

Sous Vide

Sous vide is a method of cooking that uses precise temperature control. Food is sealed in an airtight plastic pouch and then cooked in a water bath at a controlled temperature. 

Since the temperature is controlled and consistent, it's nearly impossible to overcook the food. 

This allows you to achieve consistent, restaurant-quality results every time.

Tyler and I love using a Sous Vide. Ours always sits on the counter and we use it 2-3 times a week to cook steak, pork tenderloin and chicken. 

Now that I am working from home mostly, I’ve been more active in prepping our meals (I am the Sous Chef and Tyler is the Exec) and I love how easy it is to drop a pork tenderloin in the Sous vide and rush off to a meeting.

Mental Health Benefits of Cooking with a Sous Vide

The precise and effortless nature of sous vide cooking allows you to take a mental break and focus on other activities, such as spending time with loved ones or engaging in self-care. 

Additionally, the consistent and reliable results that come with sous vide cooking can reduce stress and anxiety related to meal preparation, as you don't have to worry about over or undercooking your food. 

Overall, cooking with a sous vide can provide a much-needed mental break, reduce stress levels, and allow you to be more present and engaged in other aspects of your life.

Enjoying great food is such a part of who I am and is such a happy place for me.

I hope if you’ve never tried Sous Vide that you look into it. It’s a game changer in the kitchen!

Crushing Your Limiting Beliefs: How to Manage the Judge Saboteur

What is a Saboteur?

Saboteur thoughts are negative and self-defeating beliefs that can undermine a person's confidence, self-esteem, and ability to succeed. These thoughts are often formed as a result of negative experiences, messages, or feedback that a person receives throughout their life. 

Saboteur thoughts can show up in childhood as a result of criticism, bullying, or pressure to conform to certain standards. In adulthood, these thoughts may manifest as imposter syndrome, fear of failure, or self-doubt. 

The Judge

The Judge saboteur is a negative inner voice that constantly criticizes and judges us, often causing feelings of shame, guilt, and self-doubt. This saboteur is formed as a result of societal and cultural norms and standards that we internalize from a young age. 

The Judge saboteur can show up in various forms, such as self-criticism, perfectionism, and self-doubt, and it can impact many aspects of our lives, including our relationships, work, and overall well-being. 

We all have a Judge saboteur to some extent because it is a natural part of being human. 

The Judge saboteur can show up in three main ways: self-judgment, other-judgment, and circumstance-judgment. 

Self-judgment involves harshly criticizing and holding oneself to impossibly high standards, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. 

Other-judgment involves judging and criticizing others, often leading to negative thoughts and behaviors towards them, and damaging relationships. 

Circumstance-judgment involves judging and criticizing situations and circumstances, often leading to feelings of helplessness and frustration. 

These three forms of the Judge saboteur can impact many aspects of our lives, including our relationships, work, and overall well-being.

Karen

My coach, Ryan, first introduced me to the concept of a "judge," as he could hear my judge showing up frequently during our coaching conversations. Together, we worked on personifying my judge and creating an image that I could recognize. That way, each time it showed up, I could recognize it, think about what purpose it was serving, and then dismiss it.

My judge's name is Karen. For those of you who don't know Karen in the restaurant world, Karen is associated with the kind of person who demands to speak to the manager in order to belittle service workers. My Karen has a short, choppy blonde haircut and is always dressed up, but in a trashy kind of way.

In 2020, Karen became widely known in the restaurant industry when Domino's Pizza had to issue an apology for a promotion it ran in Australia and New Zealand offering free pizza to “nice Karens”.

Karen loves to point out my flaws and shortcomings, nitpicking whatever I do. She doesn't hold back with her criticism of me or anything else that she deems isn't up to par- from how much effort I put in at work compared to others around us, all the way down what size clothes fit perfectly on me. 

Karen has always been quick to pass judgment on my peers, going so far as to single out those whose skills and aptitudes mirror my own. Her tendency towards harsh criticism rather than collaboration reveals a deep insecurity that is likely rooted in self-doubt.

Karen has a nasty habit of undercutting any confidence that I have in myself. With her constant reminders that others around me are more knowledgeable, she plants the seed of doubt and intimidation into my mind - no matter how much effort or dedication is put forth, it will never be enough.

Managing your Judge

Managing the Judge saboteur can be challenging, but there are several effective ways to do so. 

We can be our own worst enemy, but it's important to recognize when we've been invaded by the Judge Saboteur. Try giving this inner critic a name and envisioning its features- ask yourself "What does Karen look like?" 

By taking time to identify your judge and seeing it as separate from you, you have begun an empowering journey of self-awareness!

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, can also be helpful in managing the Judge saboteur by increasing self-awareness and reducing stress. Finally, seeking support from a therapist or coach can provide additional tools and strategies for managing the Judge saboteur.

One exercise to manage the Judge saboteur is the "compassionate self-talk" exercise. This involves identifying a self-critical thought or belief and reframing it with a compassionate and supportive statement. 

For example, if the Judge saboteur says "I am such a failure", one could reframe this as "I am doing my best, and I am learning and growing every day". 

Practicing this exercise regularly can help to rewire negative thought patterns and promote self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Learning how to manage your judge saboteur is like catching an interception on the football field. You see something coming toward you that is not meant for you, you take control of it and then make the decision to start moving in a positive direction that leads to success.

When Karen shows up for me, I take a second to realize she is in the room, thank her for being there and then tell her to “fuck off.”

Your saboteurs will always be a part of who you are but you can take control over how loud their voices are in your head and how big a part they play in their role in your life. 

If you are interested in learning more about Saboteurs and the 9 accomplices to the Judge,

check out Positive Intelligence’s saboteurs assessment.

How to Define Culture in Your Organization

Tyler and I have been privileged to explore Mexico for over a decade, discovering its vibrant culture with each annual visit. From savoring local dishes to experiencing the warmth of Mexican hospitality; it's breathtaking scenery that draws us back every year - not forgetting all those colorful beach stalls selling homemade goods! Tucson reminds me a lot of Mexico, maybe partly because of its Mexican influence. But it's more than that. There is a ton of pride in local; in fact, 67% of restaurants in Tucson are locally owned! The people here are warm, welcoming, and incredibly supportive of newcomers looking to slow down and take in a little more sunshine.

As I spend more and more time getting to know local restaurants in Tucson, I find myself reflecting on the culture of the companies I’ve worked for as well as the cultures (some great and some not so great) that I've created in each restaurant I’ve worked in. I’ve spoken with many business owners who are eager to define their culture for their business but are not sure where to start. I thought I’d spend time today diving deeper into the importance of culture in business and providing an exercise on how to Define your Values for your business.

The influence of culture is an undeniable force that shapes the way we think, act, and interact with each other, and this impact can be observed not only on a country's broader societal norms and values but also on the day-to-day operations of small businesses like restaurants.

As a restaurant owner, your team is the backbone of your business. However, it’s not just about making sure everyone works hard - you need to create a positive culture that fosters growth and development. Culture is what sets your restaurant apart from the rest, and it’s essential to define what it means to your company. In this blog post, we will explore how to define culture in your organization and how to implement it in a way that enhances your team's performance.

Start with a Clear Vision and Values

Culture begins with a clear vision of what you want to achieve for your restaurant. Establishing values such as integrity, teamwork, respect, and fun provides a foundation for creating a culture of success. By sharing your vision and values with your team, you create a sense of purpose that ties everyone together. Use these values to evaluate your actions, make decisions, and hold your team accountable.

Encourage Communication Through Openness

Communication is key to any relationship, and the relationship between an employer and their team shares communication at the forefront. To build a strong culture, create an open-door policy where team members can come to you with concerns, ideas, or feedback at any time. With openness comes trust and respect, giving your team the freedom to express themselves and contribute to the success of your restaurant. Monty Moran talks about the importance of being vulnerable, curious and empowering his team in Love is Free. Guac is Extra. Check out chapter 14 about communication.

Implement Training and Development Programs

Investing in your team's training and development is critical to your restaurant's success. Set up educational programs that teach specific skills and strategies for your team members to perform their jobs successfully. By providing opportunities to learn, grow, and improve, you instill a sense of value that motivates them to do their best. This not only benefits their personal growth but also contributes to the growth of your business. Many tech companies such as Toast and 7Shifts have downloads you can use to create training programs. One thing we did at Snooze and Sweet Cow that was very effective were monthly manager workshops that focused on leadership skills training and company initiatives. The time we set aside for our managers helped them prepare for important conversations they needed to have with their teams and build a network and community of their peer leaders.

Set the Tone with Leadership

The culture of your restaurant begins with you. Be a positive role model for your team by setting the tone for their behavior and reflecting the values you want to emphasize. Demonstrate humility, accountability, and empathy in how you treat your team and customers. Develop a leadership style that inspires your team to do their best work and achieve their goals and don’t be afraid to be messy.

Celebrate Success and Have Fun

Lastly, make time to celebrate successes and have fun with your team. It’s essential to enjoy what you do and to remind team members of their accomplishments, big or small. Celebrating achievements shows that you value their contributions and that their hard work pays off. This boosts morale and fosters a positive culture that inspires everyone to keep working hard.

Creating a positive culture in your restaurant takes time and effort, but it's well worth the investment. By establishing your vision and values, encouraging open communication, providing training and development opportunities, setting the tone through leadership, and celebrating successes, you build a cohesive team that’s motivated and excited to work. By working to create and maintain a strong culture, you’re investing in your restaurant's success, your team's happiness, and your customer's satisfaction.

What is Stopping You From Investing in Yourself?

As much as I love the hospitality industry, I do need to dog on it for a second. Leadership development resources in the restaurant business are lacking, leadership development programs are nonexistent, and management training programs don't set you up for long-term success. Many of us in the industry did not get a college degree in Hospitality Management to get where we are today. Many of us have had to rely on the examples of other managers around us to show us how to lead, and how not to lead.

 In my opinion, if you want to invest in your leadership skills and grow your career, you have to do it on your own. There are a few major problems with this though:

1. What if you don’t know what leadership qualities you need to work on?

2. What if you don’t have the courage to ask for development because you aren’t great at asking for help?

3. What if you don’t know where or how to look for resources?

Throughout my career, I have faced each of the issues discussed above. I have always had a desire to become a better leader and focus on self-improvement, but I struggled with identifying where to begin. Instead, I relied on my superiors to provide me with opportunities for growth and became resentful when they did not meet my expectations. In some instances, I convinced myself that I was too busy or lacked the motivation to invest in my own development. Looking back, I recognize that this behavior did not align with being a good leader.

Over the years, I have spoken with several leaders who lack experience in performance reviews and understanding their leadership style. As a result, it becomes difficult for them to identify their strengths and weaknesses as a leader. If you are one of those leaders and want to enhance your leadership skills, check out the helpful tools that I have used in the past.

Here are some quick and free tools you can use to improve your self-awareness, get feedback from your boss and team, and work on your mental wellness.

1. Mind Tools offers a quick and free Emotional Intelligence Assessment and Instant Development tools. I love Mind Tools, as you can search for any leadership topic you may need help with, such as “how to give a performance review.”

2. To gain insight into your leadership abilities, I suggest asking your boss to specify three areas in which you excel and three areas in which you could improve, along with specific examples for each.

3. To gather feedback from your team on what's working and what's not, I’ve included my Start, Stop, Continue Exercise. Keep in mind that your team may not feel comfortable giving you direct feedback, so consider asking your boss to send out the exercise instead.

4. Check out CHOW, which stands for Culinary Hospitality Outreach and Wellness. CHOW is a Denver-based non-profit that offers many free resources, such as Zoom and in-person peer support meetings, wellness partners, and wellness app resources, to anyone who works in the hospitality industry.

5. Visit my website's Blog or Bookshelf for more leadership resources such as books, podcasts, and websites.

Investing in yourself doesn't have to be difficult. Taking small steps, like scheduling some time for self-care each day or week, can go a long way towards improving your overall wellbeing and achieving success on the job. As you begin taking care of yourself and making sure that your needs are met, you'll find that it becomes easier to stay motivated at work, reach goals faster, and lead a happier life. With dedication and persistence, investing in yourself will pay off both emotionally as well as professionally!

Your challenge: Ask yourself which area in your life you’d like to invest in and take one tiny step toward that investment.