The Leadership Tool You're Avoiding
I used to dread one-on-ones.
Not because I didn't care about my team. I cared deeply. But as an introvert, the idea of sitting down and intentionally asking someone hard questions felt awkward and forced.
I told myself I didn't really need them. I was on the floor. I was visible. I knew my people.
I didn't know my people.
I was getting the highlight reel. The polished version. The "everything's fine" version. And by the time I found out what was actually going on, it was usually too late.
If you're running multiple locations and you feel like you're always the last to know when something's wrong, when a key employee is about to quit, when your team is frustrated, when small problems have already become big ones, you're not alone. I wrote Multi-Unit Mastery to give operators a framework for building the systems that prevent these blind spots. Grab your free copy here.
Here's the real cost of avoiding these conversations:
I talked to an owner recently who lost 15 line cooks in one location last year. At roughly $5,000 per hourly employee in recruiting, training, and lost productivity, that's $75,000 gone. When I asked if he did one-on-ones with those employees, he said no.
When I asked why, he said the people who come to work for them aren't looking for a long-term job. They're just looking for a job.
That mindset is costing him his team.
People don't leave jobs because of money. They leave because of who they're working for. And if you're not sitting down with your people, asking real questions, and actually listening, you'll never know what's really going on until they hand you their notice.
What changes when you commit to one-on-ones:
You identify problems before they blow up
You build trust that makes hard conversations easier
You develop your own coaching skills
You create a culture where people actually tell you the truth
The key is how you introduce them. If you suddenly start pulling people aside for "meetings," everyone's going to think they're in trouble. Be transparent. Tell your team: We want to understand how to support you better. We want to know what's working and what's not. This isn't a performance conversation, it's a feedback conversation.
That one conversation up front changes everything about how they receive the invitation.
Five questions to start with:
What's one thing that frustrated you this week that I should know about?
What decision did you have to make that you weren't sure about?
Is there anything you stopped bringing up because nothing changes?
What's one thing I could do differently to support you better?
If you were thinking about leaving, would you tell me? Why or why not?
That last one is the question most leaders are terrified to ask, and the one that tells you everything.
You don't need a full hour. Start with 15 minutes, once a week, with one person. Ask two of these questions and just listen. Don't react. Don't get defensive. Take notes, process the feedback, and come back the next day with fresh eyes.
Six months after implementing this practice, one of our clients had zero manager turnover. He finally knew what was actually happening in his restaurants.
The goal isn't to never lose anyone. The goal is to create a space where people can tell you the truth. Once you're in that space, everything else follows.
Want to go deeper on this? I break down the full framework, including the $75,000 problem, how to introduce one-on-ones without scaring your team, and more questions to ask, in this week's episode of The Restaurant Leadership Podcast. Listen to the full episode here.
Christin
